Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize