I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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