remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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