I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
