And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
