batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im holly from the hills drunk
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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