Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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