you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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