I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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