Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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