I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
