FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
