it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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