I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
