Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
