u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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