Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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