Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
