Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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