Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
