Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
