I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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