she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
