You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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