It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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