I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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