ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
