do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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