420 ftw
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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