Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Me too!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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