At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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