Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Please, let me fuck your mom
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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