im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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