Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
please come you make the beer taste better
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
