She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
