How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
