dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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