You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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