Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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