sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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