there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
