why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
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I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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