I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
