By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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