In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Even my vagina gasped.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
