I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
