Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
