i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
