Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
