Taylor Swift is so right about you.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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