Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
