So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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