yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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