Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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