And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
