I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
