I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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