spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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