he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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