i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
