$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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