Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
