Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize