Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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