Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
