return my video game
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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