I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
