after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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