Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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