reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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