i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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